Cohabitation and Commitment

“I commit to live with you ... for as long as it works out”

by Carolyn Moynihan | 30 Apr 2012 |  (1)

We have talked a fair bit on this website about cohabitation. Indeed, the custom of living together before marriage is now so widespread, and problematic, that even the New York Times recently carried a warning about its downside.


Young people, however, are going to take a lot of convincing that it is not the best way to prepare for marriage. Perhaps that's why the video above, posted on YouTube by someone called PastorPope, takes the viewer by the scruff of the neck and forces him/her to look at the sub-text of the cohabitors' contract.


Yes, it's a bit brutal, but maybe a wake-up call for some...
Thanks to Jennifer Minicus for passing this on.

click here to read whole article and make comments

The above is reposted here from the MercatorNet blog Family Edge.  


For contrast, consider the following, attributed to Goethe.  (The Goethe Society says "it is partly by Goethe, in a way."}

It helps explain the evidence that attitude of bride and groom to marriage is a key determinant of the longevity of the marriage.  In a culture where cohabitation and unilateral, no-fault divorce are normal and common, marriage itself is weakened and seen, to varying degrees, as provisional from the start.  Sadly, the high divorce rate is not just a fact but also reason for weak commitment and a kind of social self-fulfilling prophecy.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." 

For a profound philosophical treatment of the issues, see the book by Karol Wojtyla (later John Paul II), Love and Responsibility.)